Mummy drove you alone

Mummy drove you out alone to 外婆 house because Daddy is sick and has to sleep.

So off we go to 外婆 house and this is the first time I drove since 29 Oct 2011 because of Mummy's sickness. Nevertheless, we reached safely.

You even took a nap at 外婆 house beside me. Normally we have to push you in your stroller for you to take your nap but surprisingly you were able to nap just by lying beside me.

Wanted to make you stay overnight with Mummy but your grandparents were so worried that they had to take a train down from Tampines to Toa Payoh just to fetch you.

Took some pictures when we were waiting for them at Toa Payoh MRT.

Risking my back to carry you.

I bend, you bend lower.

X'mas and Birthday Celebrations - MBS

Because Mummy has to be hospitalised during your birthday, Mummy decided to book a room at MBS to have an early Birthday cum X'mas celebrations for you!

You received lotsa presents from our friends and our relatives. What a blessed kid you are :)

23 Dec 2011:
Checked in at 3pm. We blew a whole cot of balloons so that you can play with the balloons. And also prepared a few bottles of bubbles so that you can play till your heart's fill!

Ok pictures speak louder than words. Like to capture you on photos so that memories will not fade off so fast :)

When your cousin (Ryan) came, you "hog" to him by holding his hand and not letting go. Think you are overly friendly!

When the visitors are gone at 12midnight then you are willing to sleep!

Presents!

Blow the balloons!

24 Dec 2011:
Wow.. Today all the Aunties and Uncles (Daddy and Mummy friends) came for a mini gathering and also to celebrate your birthday.

You are really a little sociable kid. Like to go around talking to people of all ages. Especially when there are kids around, you will tend to be more initiative. Often scare the little kid abit :)

Daddy's Girl

Family Photo

Uncle Leon entertaining you

Baby Ding Kang at 1.5 months old. Looks so much bigger than you!

My loves.

25 Dec 2011:
It's Xmas and time for checkout! Love the hotel stay and really wish it could be longer where  you can lie beside Mummy and spend time together. I really do not mind pampering you by letting you play what you want. You want bubbles or playing in the tub, as long as you are happy.

Haven't been able to let you swim in the infinity pool because it has been raining. So we make-shift with the bathtub and let you swim in there. You are happy nonetheless :)

Just keep swimming!

Your new toy -- Mickey Mouse a.k.a. "Kiker Mao"

X'mas tree at MBS lobby

Had a fun 3 days 2 nights stay. Most importantly is to spend quality time together. And Daddy was sick during the last day of the stay. :(

Hold Mummy's hand, please.

Finally, Mummy get to see you after 1 week again! This time at the hospital.

You are very friendly to the nurses. Always able to strike a conversation with them.

Now you are really like a broken tape recorder -- talking non-stop. But with that cute voice, who hates that?

I like the way you hold my hand while I walk slowly. You do not mind not running like you usually do, but you just want to hold my hand because you know I walk slowly. You know I am sick. Such is the maturity of a 2 year old girl, with loads of innocence.

Will you do that when I am old and frail too? By that time you would have grown up and have you own social circle and family. Will you care for Mummy like how you did when you were 2 years old? Will you hold my hand and walk with me slowly, again?

You never fail to bring hope to my life. Whenever I see you I know who and why and what I am fighting for.

For you.

Vera loves blueberries!

Yay! Today is visit day at grandmother's house. :)

I miss you so much.

Went to buy some blueberries for you to eat. So you can have some antioxidant fruits.

You really love blueberries and kiwis. I think you like fruits in general. You must have hated rice! hahaha..

Blueberries is very good. So whenever I meet you over the weekend, I will try to get some blueberries for you to eat. Antioxidant fruit and it is so easy for you to self feed. Pop it in your mouth and chew chew chew.

Yummy

Watching TV with Daddy

Playing with PhotoBooth on my Macbook

Brought you out to KiddyPalace and you were shopping for shoes! Refused to leave the shoes area. Reckoned you will be those crazy shoe lovers when you grow up. Daddy is having a headache now!

And when I was about to leave you in the car, you cried. You said you do not want me to leave. I still left heartlessly so that you can stop crying faster :(

I miss you too baby.

Happy 23 months old

One more month and you will be 2 years old! 

Wow how time flies. You are like a mini adult now. 

Blabbering non-stop. Have your own thinking.

Do not like to eat. 

And soon the terrible two will begin! Your grandparents are already experiencing it. They complain that you don't like to eat and you don't like to bathe. Will make a big fuss during bathing times. 

Now, we also have to negotiate with you for things. No longer are the times where you will listen to us. You have your own thinking already.

So today we bring you to Changi Airport for dinner and run. We know how much you want to go out. Since today Daddy knocks off early, we decide to bring you out to shop.

At Imperial Treasure

Happily playing with the bar

You are ever so friendly when you see other kids. Always the first to approach them to play or just stand beside them and see them play. I can see in your eyes you really want to join them as a group and have fun. 

It is at times like these that I feel guilty not able to give you a sibling soon. Looking at how lonely you feel and yet I am not being able to be by your side, will you forgive me? 

I am beginning to feel that I am spoiling you already. Because I feel guilty towards you, I keep finding things to buy for you and make myself feel better. When I am with you, I will not scold you but talk to you nicely and will take all the opportunity to be with you and teach you things. Because we have so little time together, even when you are watching tv, I will just sit beside you to watch together. I just want to do things with you even if you do not need me lol..

Mummy is getting good at designing photos hahaha!

Mummy's darling

Took a video of you doing random things:



Whenever I am with you, I will take lotsa pictures. I want to have memories of you.

Because Mummy has cancer, it makes me realise how short life is. Because Mummy has cancer, I know how death can occur to anyone at any time. At least I have cancer, I still have time to say I love you and make memories for you. For those that leave this earth suddenly, they have no chance to do all these.

I love you :)

I miss u

2 more days to 23 months old. You are 10 kg and 82cm tall.

You look a tad small for your age. Don't know if I should be worried or not. But you wouldn't want to eat much :(

I miss you darling. I think you miss me too :)

Because Mummy is staying at 外婆's house to recuperate, I only go home during weekends. And today is weekend. Oh I miss you so much. We only see each other through Facetime (video calls).

At home, you will follow me around even to the toilet and when I bathe. You will sit at the small stool and watch me bathe and say shame shame.

You will also ask me to sit down and play games with you. For the whole day you just want me to accompany you.

You will like beside me in bed and ask me sing song for you or read to you. When on the sofa, you will sit on my lap and ask me write for you to see while you put your head on my shoulder.

I really hate to see you grow up so fast. I like this stage of yours. So tender, so loving and so real.

At least you still love Mummy for being botak. You even asked me wear my hat when I was changing to go out.

I miss you, Vera. The moment you leave with Daddy, I tear. I am so guilty that I am not with you most of the time. You grew up so much I didn't remember you can speak so many words already! You can form (chinese) sentences and can already remember what happened the day before.

You can say "爸爸生气”  which happened the day before. Now you also learning words.  You will repeat what we say.

You are very spoilt now too! Will beat and scratch grandmother. Nearing the terrible two, Daddy and Mummy are scratching our heads. We are first time parents. Now, I cannot be by your side and Daddy has to work till very late so we do not have the time to discipline you. I feel so guilty, really so guilty. I hope you don't be too spoilt and bad tempered.

We are trying to discipline you by talking to you nicely and reason out with you. Hope it works. Seems like it works when you are with us alone and grandparents not around. Hmmm.. Grandparents really spoil grandkids!

Photos of the day:

Both Botak

Can't wait to drive

Keep pestering to me to let you brush teeth

Daddy's little girl

Finally taking your nap. Sleep like an angel.

Visit to Mummy

Today u come to visit Mummy at SGH again :) It has been a long week. I don't know if you miss me.

You came here and play with the balloons and the big Winnie the Pooh. You are really a good girl. Just make use of whatever is available in the room and make it into your play thing. When my friends are here, you just socialise and mingle with them. What a sociable girl you are!

In love with Winnie the Pooh

Family photos

Conversations and milestones

Just one week not seeing you, you can speak a few more words and I felt like you have grown so much! These are the things you can say already:

• We: 妈妈在哪里？＝ you： 生病，oror （sleep）
• Grandparents：为什么爸爸还没有回来？ ＝ you：看妈妈
• count from one to twenty with some assistance
• Recognise numbers
• Recognise some alphabets from iphone apps
• Say CHEESE with your hands up when taking pictures

Cheese!

I can't wait to be with you and watch you grow.

Dedicate this song for you:
I don't wana miss a thing - Aerosmith


I could stay awake just to hear you breathing
Watch you smile while you are sleeping
Far away and dreaming
I could spend my life in this sweet surrender
I could stay lost in this moment forever
Well, every moment spent with you
Is a moment I treasure

I don't wanna close my eyes
I don't wanna fall asleep
'Cause I'd miss you, babe
And I don't wanna miss a thing
'Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
I'd still miss you, babe
And I don't wanna miss a thing

Lying close to you
Feeling your heart beating
And I'm wondering what you're dreaming
Wondering if it's me you're seeing
Then I kiss your eyes and thank God we're together
And I just wanna stay with you
In this moment forever, forever and ever

I don't wanna close my eyes
I don't wanna fall asleep
'Cause I'd miss you, babe
And I don't wanna miss a thing
'Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
I'd still miss you, babe
And I don't wanna miss a thing

I don't wanna miss one smile
I don't wanna miss one kiss
Well, I just wanna be with you
Right here with you, just like this
I just wanna hold you close
Feel your heart so close to mine
And stay here in this moment
For all the rest of time

Don't wanna close my eyes
Don't wanna fall asleep
'Cause I'd miss you, babe
And I don't wanna miss a thing
'Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
'Cause I'd still miss you, babe
And I don't wanna miss a thing

I don't wanna close my eyes
I don't wanna fall asleep
'Cause I'd miss you, babe
And I don't wanna miss a thing
'Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
I'd still miss you, babe
And I don't wanna miss a thing

Don't wanna close my eyes
Don't wanna fall asleep, yeah
I don't wanna miss a thing 

Letter to Vera from Mummy

Dear Vera,

Mummy has not seen you for one week already. The last time you saw me was on Friday 30 Oct 2011 when you sat at my bed in the hospital (TTSH) and kissed me and sayang me and play with my iphone. When the nurses pushed me away to the operating theatre, you cried "MAMA!" as if you thought that I had been kidnapped.

I can sense that you know your Mummy is in pain and you are very scare of the hospital environment. Somehow you had the sixth sense.

When I saw you shouting for me in Daddy's hands, my tears rolled down involuntarily. I told myself: I have to be strong for you and Daddy and everybody that saw me out.

Mummy went to the operation because I was presented with a tumor in the spinal cord at T11. It is compressing on my big nerves and my legs are having decreasing senses at increasing speed. If they delay further, I might be paralysed for the whole life. Of course, I cannot be paralysed. I have to take care of you. I have to be with you when you grow up. You cannot be without a Mother.

Well, part of the tumor has been taken out to relieve the pressure on my nerve and also to bring to test what kind of tumor is it.

And the results came out to be a lymphoma at the spinal cord. It occurs at the bone and into the bone marrow. And bone marrow has blood flowing so it will travel through the bone marrow and I need to go through 6 chemotherapy sessions to kill off the growing cells. It is a stage 4 cancer.

Mummy will need to go through a termination of your sibling because of this chemotherapy and also the CT scans and X-rays I have gone through is not very healthy for pregnant. Everytime we test you whether you want “弟弟” or “妹妹”you will always say “弟弟”. Maybe you are right. We will never find out.

There might be a chance that Mummy's fertility will be affected too. So you might be the only child. I know it is unfair to you to deprive you of a companion and an extra family member. So I am guilty and Mummy will give you all the love and attention you deserve.

Next time you will also be plagued by this family history that your Mummy has lymphoma.

Vera, all I wana say is Daddy and Mummy love you. After you came into our lives, we truly know the meaning of 心肝宝贝. It means you are like our heart and liver. So precious to us. And nobody will ever know this feeling until they are parents themselves.

Regardless how long or how short my life is, I will strive to always love you to the maximum ability I have. I will not say die just so I can see you growing into a fine lady and also a filial, successful and confident lady. Most importantly, Mummy just wish that the ordeal I am going through will protect you and let you have the best of health and be the happiest person on earth.

I love you.

Love,
Mummy

11, 12.... 13!

You already can count from 1 to 10. (Sometimes miss out 4 or 6 .. depends on your mood).

But today you gave us a surprise! 

After 10, I said "11..." and you said "12, 13....."

Daddy and I looked at each other with awe!!

I only taught you once in the car for 1 to 15 but Daddy says it's too much info so skip 11 to 15. But seems like you can take much more info than that!

Bedtime Friends

You must take all these soft toys to bed with you or else you wouldn't step into our room.

You will take attendance... 5 of them, cannot be missed

All your soft toys must be present.. In and out of the cot.

Kite FLying day!

Today is 婆婆's birthday and we decided to go to Marina Barrage to fly kite and have dinner at 7th Storey Restaurant.

You were so fascinated with the kites and you kept pointing and look into the sky!

So sunny you had to squint your eyes

Shame Shame!

Every evening when I am back from work and go for a shower, you would intrude into the bathroom, take the small stool, put it on the floor mat and watch me bathe. 

When you see me take off my clothes, you will show "shame shame" -- finger stroking cheek and say"fay fay"

Observing Mummy bathe

At Tampines Swimming Pool

Decided to bring you for a swim since the weather is good and it has been rather humid recently.

You enjoyed yourself for the 15 min in the pool and were kicking and splashing water. I hope you will become confident in water in future so we expose you the swimming pool since young. 

When you were bathing, you were shivering *teeth clattering*.. Aww Mummy so heartache and took my shirt for you to wear it while I go in and bathe. (The stupid Tampines Swimming Complex toilet has fans inside! Who the hell needs that?)

Today 外公 & 外婆 and Mummy brought you out to Giant@Tampines for dinner and shopping after Mummy knock off.

外公 chased you around the whole of Giant while you were pushing a trolley that Aunties bring to marketing. After which, 外公 bought a ball for you cos he was seeing that you like the ball alot as you were kicking it around.

Happy with your new ball

Farewell dinner

Today we brought you to our friends' (Eric and Serene) farewell dinner. They are going to the States indefinitely and so the meetup!

And before the food arrived you keep showing me your empty bowl and ask for food. And when you see the waitress bring the food over, you quickly climb up the chair waiting for the food! You are too eager to be independent and feed yourself.

There was once in the video you keep saying "nice nice"...

BarnYard Friends

Everynight, you have to bring in your group of Barnyard Friends to bed with you before you can agree to go up to Daddy and Mummy's bed! 

Bear Bear, Eeyore and Rabbit plus Tutu is what you must have to bed

Addicted to Barney~

You are so addicted to Barney that you have to watch it the moment you are awake and it will be on  for practically the whole day!

And you can already predict the actions and say "YAY" before the kids shout "YAY" !

And when I put on the vcd for you to watch, you will stamp your feet and say "de de de" (singing the barney song)

Vera and her neighbours

Vera is very fortunate to have 2 elder sisters as her neighbour! One at 7 years old the other at 4years old.. They are exceptionally caring and will give in and spoil Vera. 

When they are here to play with her, Vera will snatch the toys that they are touching. And when she is watching Barney and Friends, the two sisters will let her sit on the stool..

Side note: She will watch Barney more than 10 times daily!

The sweet sisters

The sisters sayang the naughty and spoilt Vera

Watching Barney together.. Such nice friendships :)

New way of saying 谢谢

Your new way of saying 谢谢 is saying it with a slight bow! Where did you learn this from? Japanese shows?

Your favourite slippers! I like your fat feet in this :)

After swimming!

Nap-less and swimming day!

You seem to have a phobia that Daddy and Mummy will forsake you if you sleep at 外婆 's house. Because Daddy and Mummy always took the chance to go for a date or a movie right after you fell asleep. And upon waking up, you will feel very upset that you cannot find us. Maybe that caused you to be afraid to fall asleep lest we run away.

So today, you broke your record! You woke up at 8am and did not sleep until 715pm. And that was when you kept asking us to bring you home and was very cranky. But Daddy wasn't around so we could not bring you home and I had to carry you and pat you to sleep while humming some lullaby....

You kept crying "mama, papa, mama, papa" those combination of words kept coming out until you fell asleep. Even when we tried to carry you into the car after 45 minutes of short nap, you were wailing away because you were toooo tired.

Nevertheless, at 5pm, we brought you to Toa Payoh Swimming Complex for a quick swim! You were very excited seeing other kids and keep saying "gor gor, jie jie" and splashed the water all over your face. 

But seeing you looked cold with purple-ish hands, we decided to call it a day after 15 min of swim.

This swim suit is toooo tight for you

Cute photos time

Decided to upload a batch of your super duper cute photos...

You said "HEEEE" when I asked you to smile for this pic.. This is the day Daddy fetched you to come pick me up.. So Sweet!~

Love this nerdy look of yours! 小不点。。。

Your favourite toy, Giraffe, at 外婆 house! 

Tried to put you in the potty but unsuccessful. You are still not ready for it.

18 months old milestone!

I forgot to pen down the statistics of my Princess Vera at 18 months old when she went to take her last injection.

Height: 79 cm

Weight: 9.4kg

At 25%, you are below average. But as usual a petite baby..

I was very amazed at the rate you are developing now! (When did i not?). Last night, you could stack up blocks and do threading! You could stack it high high up with the same blocks (cylinders to cylinders and cubes to cubes) and could thread a string of blocks together. And when I request for an orange block, you could pick out the right one! But the rest of the colours you could not or did not want to do it! I am amazed because you could not do this for the past 1 month or so? You did not know how to thread at all! But now you could do it.

And for goodness sake, you have finally decided to start speaking. I love it when you say "NONO"

Vera's new soft toy!

This Eeyore is a xmas present bought by your daddy to your mummy. (Think it was 3 years ago?) And now it is your BEST friend! You will pull this Eeyore wherever you go in the house. Lie on it to drink milk ride on it like it is a Donkey. (Oh yah.. it is a donkey!)

Zoo

Went to the zoo with your aunties. First time to the zoo and it was raining cats and dogs. So we waited in the carpark until the rain subsided. Luckily, it stopped and off we go to the zoo!

Pretty girl with the cap

Had macdonald's breakfast before heading to the zoo...

A day at Changi Airport

Plane watching

Today I asked Vera to pose for me to take picture. She put out her hands and open and close her fists.. That is her posing!

This is my pose

My first Skytrain ride. So i have to hold the railings

I was asking Daddy to stop the trolley. So i can take the impossibility of a person's butt in that small space. And Vera immediately tried to push the trolley to make it move.

Move it!